Mars conjunct Saturn 24°49´ Libra – 15.08.2012

It´s the classic malefic aspect: both Mars and Saturn bring conflict, the evil, structure, a death-end, a focus, a fear, pressure, a forwarding event, an energy hard to bear, discipline.

The conjunction was perfectly conjunct my 24°47´ Libra MC.

My 26°26´Libra Uranus opposing my 26°16´ Aries Mars is strongly afflicted by this transit.

I was worried a bit: it is the third and final  Saturn transit, the two before in spring were not very pleasant. The first direct pass I was extremely busy with an art project I had a lot of responsibilty for (classic for a Saturn MC transit…), the second retrograde transit I terminated a painful relationship that had no a future (or, just a future made of pain: it was meant to be lifelong, it was a deep love, but it had no real ground. Sad story…).

This time it was different. I felt focused and full of energy. Ok, I was restless, nervous, motorically tensed – but decided to stay as patient as possible with me and others.  The upcoming week I found myself drawing with ink, daily, after I came home. I enjoyed the patterns and structures emerging from my inner worlds. It was a relieve to let it flow, let my tension go. I have not painted this way for many, many years. It was fun, this deep fluid black on crisp and clean and smooth paper. I missed this special artistic quality in my life for quite a time, did photography as a focus of my work, but  I made the decision to take the liberty expressing my ideas with every technique that comes to my mind.

I felt saved. Supported. There were new goals, a future, images how it could be, how I could love, how I could live.

My pain about the end of my relationship changed its quality. The pain is still there. But it is embedded in my life in a different way. I allow myself to find someone to build a real life with. It is along-term goal. But it will happen, and I will be fulfilled and happy.

My soul is healing. I am developing new-old skills. My connection to my deep inner wells of creativity is getting stronger again.

To say it with Mother Destruction: “The time for sadness is no more.”

Looking forward to new art projects, new techniques, new beginnings, new horizons.

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