A Relational Pattern

It seems to be human to look for a partner that fulfills a certain expectation, a behavioural pattern, triggering a special emotion, or simply let you feel loved in a special way. It is about repeating the same story over and over – until the message finally comes through.

I did an astrological research about my significant loves. There is a clear, eye-catching pattern: over 23 years I met five significant persons, all born between December 1966 and June 1967. I was connected to each of them for several years in different levels of commitment. (One of them is “just” a very good friend, but we keep contact for almost 20 years, so I would count that as a kind of committment, too.)

All of them share the following astrological markers:

  • Sun in Fire or Air sign (one Sagittarius, two Aries, two Gemini)
  • Mars in Libra (for four of them in retrograde motion)
  • Jupiter in Leo, early grades (only one of them retrograde in Cancer)
  • Saturn in Aries (only one of them in Pisces)
  • Chiron in Pisces (between 22-29°)
  • Uranus in Virgo (between 20-24°)
  • Neptune in Scorpio (between 22-24°)
  • Pluto in Virgo (between 18-20°)
  • Juno in Leo (between 0-13°)

What does that mean?

These people trigger special points in my natal chart.

This goes like this:

  • As a Sagittarius I feel attracted by Air and Fire signs. (This is the easy part.)
  • My Aries Mars opposite their Libra Mars brings lots of energy – and both parts learn a lot about different ways of expressing anger and dealing with conflicts.
  • Their Jupiter in Leo triggers my Leo Vertex – leading to a feeling of a fated encounter, with generosity and expansion as subtext.
  • Their Aries  Saturn is in the same sign like my Mars – causing  a feeling of blockade on my part. (Basically this is very helpful for an overwhelming Aries Mars, but it is not fun. Not at all.) On their part they felt pushed by my energy.  A few of them have a Saturn trining my Neptune in Sagittarius – this is about making visions come true and feels more beneficial.
  • Their Chiron in Pisces I perceive not as extremely significant, there is no precise aspect in synastry.
  • Their Uranus/Pluto conjunction in Virgo is very significant, I think it is the most important connection, trining my Taurus Moon.  There is excitement and depth.  Their Pluto in Virgo  squares my Sagittarius Sun, supporting that very significance. This is about power, about energy, about intensity. There is a strong bond, challenging and limiting my Sun.
  • Their Neptune in Scorpio opposes my Taurus Moon. This is about expectations and  illusions. It was difficult for me to feel my true feelings, there was a fog between me, my feelings and the romantic expectations of my counterpart.  In the moment I dared to be authentic, it was likely they  reacted disappointed.
  • Their Juno in Leo needs love drama, they need a partner who expresses herself and who admires them. This resonates in a trine with my Fire Sun, I can relate to this, but with a Capricorn Juno it is not exactly my natural style of commitment.

To put the story together, I think this repeating pattern helped me to develop a sense of my True Self.

  • My Sagittarius Sun had to put up something against this challenging Uranus/Pluto square and came out with a different sense of individuality.
  • My Aries Mars had to develop diplomacy.
  • My Taurus Moon had to find out how she could feel comforted and safe.
  • My Capricorn Juno needed to solidify and make clear her needs for true commitment.

A development is always a process of all participants. These relationships were intense and life-changing for all  of us. We all discovered new ground, both by pain and by joy.

(It is amazing how clear this relationship patterns mirror themself in astrological terms.)

Thank you, you five special and precious ones,  for sharing all this time and love and making all these experiences together!

For me it is time to leave this pattern.

It is time to grow into something new.

An idea of things to come.

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