Dissolving – Neptune square Neptune

Now there will come the time where Neptune in Pisces, transiting my 2nd house, will square my natal Neptune in Sagittarius in the 12th house. This is a classic midlife crisis transit in the age of 40-42. I am curious how the Master of Mystery will show himself in the upcoming transits. When I research about this transit, there are several keywords which seem to be: dissolution, deception, illusion, a time where you lose control, wishes, dreams, disillusions, but also healing, awareness, renewal and spirituality.

My natal Neptune in 12th Sagittarius house needs time alone for dreaming and sleeping and reading. He takes a lot of outer influences, emotions, feelings of others into his space and needs this time to clean himself, to feel what is his own and what is not. Boundaries are a topic for him.

The transiting square from Neptune in Pisces ploughs through my 2nd house. Here we talk about values, money, realization.

Neptune moved into my 2nd house when he just had entered Aquarius, in the spring of 1999. That year I applied for art school, and that very spring I put together my application. They accepted me – and I was able to bring my dream of becoming a professional artist into life. I began with high hopes: to become famous and earn a lot of money with my art. Nobody I know who begins with arts studies was humble and realistic about chances in the art market, and I was no exception. I loved it and put a lot of energy into my studies. I had not a lot of money: basically I had to support myself and worked and studied parallel. I even managed to put a Master degree on top, abroad, without a stipendium of any sort. I had a nice list of exhibitions, single ones, group ones, but there were no real breakthrough like for a very few of my colleagues. Moneyrelated I was lucky: I managed to keep a part-time job that supported me while my studies and I got a very reasonable unlimited contract when I came back. I still work there, and I am really happy about it. I have enough money to support myself, a safe structure, and enough time to follow my widespread interests.

But of course I think sometimes how it would be to have financial success on the art market, or how it would be if I would have  made a different choice in my career and earning a lot of money.

I know that money is not everything, but without it life is more difficult.

I like to have money to be able to enjoy life.

I like to have time.

I think that spare time is a value in itself.

Now I move into an art studio house and will enjoy a large studio space, the first time in my life. The move will happen in the time of the first direct and retrograde exact transit pretty soon (21.05. / 29.06. 2014).

Who knows what will happen?

I look forward to spend time in the studio, in the garden, playing around with material and techniques.

When there will be a Neptune crisis, then I could imagine it will be a crisis in my art: to leave an illusion behind.

The illusion to be an professional artist?

Getting real about becoming a professional artist?

Who knows.

Neptune knows.

He will tell me.

So quiet, so deep inside.

I want to hear the story.

I will listen.

 

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My exact Neptune square Neptune transits:

D 21.05.2014

R 29.06.2014

D 04.03.2015

R 07.10.2015

D 29.12.2015

 

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