Chiron at 16° Aries in 3rd house trines my natal Sun at 16° Sagittarius in 12th house and my AC at 20° Sagittarius: This is, even as a trine, not the most fun part in my chart. Over the years I see the positive potential in it, but in my youth it was simply awful. I was socially awkward, and had skin diseases I still have scars from. I felt strange and alienated in groups, and offered myself this way a perfect victim to bullies. Avoiding confrontations, I tried to convince myself that it did not matter that people were bitching about me behind my back. And of course it did.
Chiron is moving through Pisces, into the third and last square to my natal Sun the 31.03.2015, and Uranus in Aries will conjunct my natal Chiron the 08.04.2015. (The first posting about this transit you find HERE.)
A few weeks ago I had a conflict with a co-worker, who complained to me about a minor mistake I made. I have corrected similar mistakes from others without making fuss about. It was stuff which can happen any time without bad intentions from anybody. He called me and shouted at me and called me names. I was totally astonished and did not know how to react. After the call I became incredibly angry. I really can not stand people who shout at me. He is just a co-worker in the same hierarchy, not my boss, and I would not accept to be shouted at from a boss, too. I listen when somebody talks to me friendly and factually, and I am happy to correct my mistakes and take responsibility. But by this communication style he overstepped my limits in a serious way. He is a person who complains about things for hours, and this makes him a bit stressful to work with (I even thought a few weeks ago to ask him if there is anything positive in his live…). I called him and gave him feedback, that he overstepped my limits, that nobody talks to me this way, and that he will not do that in future. He was totally surprised and said that he was sorry that it seemed that he was so harsh, but that he had not spoken so aggressive, he meant it as “fun”. I told him that it definitely did not come across as “fun” , how rude he appeared to me, and that I accepted his apology that he did not mean it this way. The next time we worked together he was very careful with me, and my alarm bells rang. A few days later another co-worker told me that the guy and another co-worker were bitching about me behind my back. I felt incredibly hurt, and it was the old hurt.
I know that many of my co-workers are fed up by the bitching of these both guys about minor and personal stuff of others, trash talk of a really bad kind, and they (and me) do not understand why they put so much energy into all this anger. I talked about the conflict with other co-workers and feel basically supported, but I am still sceptic. (Saturn wanders through my 12th house, and I am glad to find out about some “secret enemies”, but there could still be more I do not know about yet.) I thought a lot about how to deal with this situation, and I found a few possible strategies: being open and transparent, to defend myself by talking against the guys directly who distribute the trash talk, and as last alternative making the conflict open to the superior by arranging a meeting between the guy who called me, the superior and myself.
I can not change them, but I can change my strategies.
I will stay fair and open and insist on respectful communication structures.
Their values are not mine.